Nearly perfect

I took the day off today to take Trenton to Children's for lab work and see the doctor. His last count was 81,000 so I had dreams of him hitting 100,000. I had a plan if he did. I was going to surprise people with the number. Go to Papa's office and put a sticky note on Pastor Sam's door next to all the other notes. Then we'd go surprise daddy at work. Post it all over the internet, send texts.

Yea, that didn't happen. The doctor came in and told us that he dropped down to 34,000. He was so sweet and just kept saying how sorry he was. He still is holding on to the hope that Trenton will get better on his own, and does not want to do any treatments right now. He said if he dips to 10,000 we'll have that conversation. He knows how hard this is, and says this is the crappy part of this disease, that it's so up and down. He also said he was so hoping to see him hit 100.

I left the office feeling pretty defeated. I tried to prepare myself a little bit, because we saw signs of it dipping. But I secretly thought that if I'm prepared to hear a low number, I'll be that much more surprised when it's super high! It's weird how our minds work.

But, we still had all day to hang out, so we took advantage of the awesome weather. We went to the zoo for a little while, then went downtown to have lunch with Tyler. When we got back home, we both took naps, then we went for a long walk with the dog. Followed by leaf raking and chalk drawing. Could have been a really awesome day if the number 34 didn't keep coming into my head.

I'm trying really hard not to feel sorry for myself, or for our family. There are so many worse things that could happen, and we are certainly reminded of that when we are at Children's and see all the other kids going through chemo. And I was reading this other family's blog about their little girl losing her battle with cancer. I still have my son, he's thriving, he doesn't know he's sick. I'm just so sick of it! I just keep praying for the day I can surprise everyone with the news. I'll keep planning.

All things potty

Lately I feel like my life is revolving around the toilet. No, I'm not sick, we are in the throws of potty training. But I'm really not complaining because it's been a while since I've had to change a dirty diaper. I know everyone says this is so hard. I think we lucked out! About a week or so ago, this little toilet shaped light bulb must have gone off in Trenton's head because he decided he wants to go on the potty all the time. He has been going a little bit for a few weeks, but would never tell me BEFORE he had to go. But he's done so well! And he loves picking out his underwear every morning. We just got him a bunch of new ones with Disney characters. Last night he actually woke up yelling "Goofy!" I hope it was a good dream and Goofy wasn't picking on him or something!

Anyway, sorry for the potty talk. But that's been our life. Trenton continues to do well. I have noticed a few more bruises and things, but sometimes I think I'm just psyching myself out. We get him checked on Friday, so I'm really anxious to see the results. Last time they went this high, we were crushed by a huge drop. So I'll be very happy if it's anything higher than 81,000.

I just can't wait until I don't have this lingering fear following me all the time. When I don't worry about every bump and bruise, or have to inspect every owie thinking it could turn into something worse. Or does every parent do that?

So stay tuned on Friday, I try to post the results as soon as I can. I am taking Friday off though to take Trenton to the clinic. Then I think we'll goof off a bit. Hopefully with a celebratory lunch!

81!

81,000! Need I say more?

I got to talk to the doctor today, briefly (it's a long story why only for a short time). He was very excited and thought Trenton looked great. He said he wants to continue checking counts, and just waiting. He doesn't want to do anything unless Trenton dips below 10,000 which hasn't happened in a while. So we will wait about 6 weeks and check him again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for over 100,000!

I was very happy when we were leaving the hospital, but I was quickly reminded how fragile life is. Trenton and I were walking behind this couple on our way to the car. I have to admit I was getting a little annoyed by how slow they were going. As Trenton and I passed them, I noticed her giant pregnant belly. Oh fine, I guess she's allowed to walk (waddle) slow. When they got to their car, the man grabbed her and gave her the biggest hug. They stood there for a while, the woman just melted into the hug. I can't imagine what news they might have just heard about their little unborn baby, but it must have sucked. I almost started crying for them, and have been thinking about them ever since. I can only hope and pray they be comforted and God will take care of their little one like he has mine.

Prayers

Trenton has an appointment this afternoon to get a blood test. He's been looking pretty good, so please pray hard that his numbers are outstanding!

I'll post the results as soon as I can.

No news

I have no news! Just thought I would say that. It's been about 5 weeks since we've gotten Trenton's blood count. I can tell when it's time to get him checked again because everyone I know is asking how his counts are. Which is amazing on it's own! I still continually get people telling me they are thinking about Trenton and praying for him. How cool is that??

I did just e-mail the doctor to see what he's thinking. I feel like I'm being a pest, but I'm afraid they've kind of forgotten about him. Again, I know he's not deathly ill, but he's the cutest, sweetest little guy in the world, so you'd think they should all care about him as much as I do, right?!

I'll keep you all posted!

And I shouldn't say we have NO news, we do have a new nephew! Isaac deRidder was born yesterday. He's super cute (duh) and he and Chris are doing very well. Trenton thought he was pretty cool, and just kept staring at him. He just loves all his cousins, which is so fun.

Also, we recently took a quick trip to Telluride. Here's just two of my favorite pictures:

Good Times

What a great week so far...and it's only Monday!

Trenton's count is at 56,000. I was quite surprised by this as I knew he took a dip a few weeks ago. So hopefully that means he jumped right back up, and will continue to climb.

After going to Children's this morning, we got to go to the zoo with a bunch of cousins! Rick and Sara are in town, so I've taken most the week off work. Trenton has been so excited to just hang out with the family.

A few of the highlights so far:

Sorry Dad

Sorry, I was getting grief for not posting in a while. But there hasn't been a whole lot to report. I realized it's been a while since Trenton got his blood count, so I brought him into Children's last week to get checked. We had to wait an exceptionally long time for some reason, but luckily they have lots of great toys and they brought out the little plastic car again. Otherwise, I don't think we would have made it.

Anyway, he got his blood work done and he's up to 45,000! Not too shabby. I really thought (and of course, hoped) that it would be much higher. He doesn't have a lot of bruising and the petechiae are gone. But it's still up, and I'm very happy about that. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I finally convinced Tyler to take some pictures of our OWN kid, and the wait was certainly worth it. Here's our little monkey: